wit and wisdom stories

O nce Akbar and Birbal were taking a stroll. Winter was at its peak at that time of season. A thought came to Birbal's mind, and he expressed to the Emperor, "A man can do anything for money." Emperor also thought something, and he just dipped his finger in the almost freezing water of a nearby pond. He drew his hand immediately, and replied Birbal, "I don't think so. Do you think somebody can stand in this almost freezing water for the whole night for money?" Birbal said, "I think so." Birbal told that he can find such a man who can stand in this water for the whole night for money. Akbar couldn't believe, so he accepted the challenge and said that he would give one thousand gold coins to that man. Next day Birbal brought a man who was very poor and thin. He told the King that that man would stand in that water. "Good" the King said and sent him to that pond. Because he did not believe this, so he sent some guards too to ...

As two men were walking through a field one day, they spotted an enraged bull. Instantly they darted toward the nearest fence.  The storming bull followed in hot pursuit, and it was soon apparent they wouldn’t make it. Terrified, the one shouted to the other, “Put up a prayer, John. We’re in for it!” John answered, “I cant’. I never made a public prayer in my life.” “But you must now!” implored his companion.  “The bull is catching up to us.” “All right,” panted John, “I’ll say the only prayer I know, the one my father used to repeat at the table: ‘O Lord, for what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.’”

I was once coming out after supper. Most of my fellow companions were also present in the same campus. I saw a friend of mine carrying a flask of ice. I was surprised. I began to judge that person and the situation. I assumed that some of my friends were getting the ice for some party. The next day I asked my friend about the night party and he was looking bewildered. He was confused and he asked me “What party?” I reminded him of the ice he was carrying last night. He then told me something that made me turn red. He said that his brother had very high fever the previous night and he was taking some ice to cool his forehead. I realized that I had been such a fool. Very often we tend to judge people without any reason or rhyme. Dr. David Burns says "It’s your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault."

T his Story is about a man who once was selling Hotdogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more. He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.  As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father. Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even wo...

O ne day a father took his young son to the pet shop to pick up a puppy as a birthday present and the boy spent one hour looking over the collection of little dogs in the window. “Decided which one you want?” asked the father. “Yes,” replied the boy, pointing to one puppy which was wagging its tail enthusiastically, “ the one with the happy ending.” Moral: Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

T he  father came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. He has been missing him very much lately due to his long work hours.  Son asked, "Father, may I ask you a question?" Father replied: "Yeah sure, what is it?" "Father, how much do you make an hour?" asked the son. "I make $20 an hour." said his father. The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. He started counting the money he had and gathered exactly $20 and gave it in the hands of his father and said,  "Father, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you." The father of the boy realised that day that his son needs $20 worth of time than his $20. Money may be an unwise investment indeed where true love is required!

A milkman became very wealthy through dishonest means. He had to cross a river daily to reach the city where his customers lived. He mixed the water of the river generously with the milk that he sold for a good profit. One day he went around collecting the dues in order to celebrate the wedding of his son. With the large amount thus collected he purchased plenty of rich clothes and glittering gold ornaments.  But while crossing the river the boat capsized and all his costly purchases were swallowed by the river. The milk vendor was speechless with grief. At that time he heard a voice that came from the river, “Do not weep. What you have lost is only the illicit gains you earned through cheating your customers. Moral: Honest dealings are always supreme. Money earned by wrong methods will never remain for ever.

T he story goes back some time ago, a father punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the little girl tried to decorate a box. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Father." The father was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. Father yelled at his 3-year-old daughter, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present (gift), there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Father, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Father." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. Only a short time later, an accident took the life of his little girl. It is also told that...

A Primary School teacher asked her students to write an essay about what they would like God to do for them. At the end of the day, while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, who had just walked in, saw her crying and asked her: 'What happened?' She answered: 'Read this. It is an essay written by one of my students.' 'Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a Television. I want to take its place and live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, and have my family around me. To be taken seriously when I talk. I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives even when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired. And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me. And ... I want my brothers to fight to be ...

A   young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Holy book of wisdom. Angrily, young man raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Holy book?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. Young man never contacted his father again for long long time. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful h...

A lexander the Great showed a keen interest in the ancient Indian wisdom. He was always keen to meet men of exceptional wisdom, Yogis and Rishis. Shortly after Alexander arrived in India, he sent Onesikritos, a disciple of Diogenes (philosopher that had lived in a tub) to fetch Dandamis who lived in a forest near Takshila, one of the centres of learning in the ancient India.  "Praise be to you O learned teacher of Brahmins. The son of the mighty God Zeus, Alexander, sovereign of the World, commands you to come with me to see him. If you comply, you will be rewarded. If not, your head will be cut off."  The Yogi was neither amused nor intimidated by this rather compulsive invitation.He looked up from his couch of grass and leaves and answered: "I am also a son of Zeus, if Alexander be one. I am happy and content with what I have.I don't need any gifts.If he cuts off my head, so be it. The supreme Lord receives all when death sets them free, which is better than ...

T here is the funny story told of a preacher who was driving through a town not familiar to him and he was searching for the town hall where he was to conduct a prayer meeting and preach. He saw a group of boys playing and he asked them the way to the Town Hall. The boys in turn asked him about the nature of his work and he told them that he was going to preach and he invited them to join the others. The boys asked him about the theme of his sermon and he said that he would be speaking about “the way of heaven”. The boys burst out into laughter and they told him with a smile, “Sir, you do not know the way to the Town Hall and how are you going to show us the way to heaven!” Today young people are telling us, preachers, teachers and parents - stop preaching if you have not walked the talk. We cannot preach if we have not experienced what we are preaching. 

A lexander's thirst for knowledge was real. Once he invited an ascetic Brahmin named Kalyana to Takshila for a philosophical discussion. According to the Greek historian and biographer Plutarch, Alexander himself framed a few questions.Some of these questions are as follows:  Which are more numerous,the living or the dead? The living,for the dead are not. Which has got higher number of animals - the sea or the land? The land,for the sea is only a part of land. Which is the cleverest of all beasts that man should fear? That one with which man is not yet acquainted. (Man fears the unknown.) Which existed first,the day or the night? The day was first by one day. Alexander showed surprise on this. The Brahmin smiled and added: "Impossible questions require impossible answers." How may a man make himself beloved of all? A man will be beloved when possessed with great power does not make himself feared. How may a man become a God? By doing that which it is impossible for ...

D eb Graham writes about a very important experience in her life that made her learn a very significant lesson for her own life. When she was a little girl, her mom liked to make breakfast food (breakfast items) for dinner every now and then. And she remembers one night in particular, when her mother had made breakfast-dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening her mother placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of them. She remembers waiting to see if anyone noticed or reacted! Yet all that her dad did was reach for his toast, smile at her mother and ask Debbie how her day was at school. Debbie does not remember what she told him that night, but she remembers watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!  When she got up from the table that evening, she remembers hearing her mom apologize to her dad for burning the toast. And Debbie will never forget what he said: “Baby, I love burned toast." Later that...

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work and his electric drill quit, his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss. Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do at the little tree. "Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the ...

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away.  As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose." He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers. As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother." She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave. The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.

J ack was a busy man. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man whom he knew from his town. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone, his mother told him,"Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. "Jack, did you hear me?" "Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said. "Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of th...

I ran into a stranger as he passed by. "Oh, excuse me please" was my reply. He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't even watching for you." We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye. But at home a different story is told, how we treat our loved ones, young and old. Later that day, cooking the evening meal, my daughter stood beside me very still. When I turned, I nearly knocked her down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown. My daughter walked away, her little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I had spoken. While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said, "While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the children you love, you seem to abuse. Look on the kitchen floor, you will find some flowers there by the door. Those are the flowers your daughter brought for you. She picked them herself, pink, yellow and blue. Your daug...

T here was a time when elephants could fly and had four big wings. In fact they were God’s favourite vehicles; he used to ride on an elephant when he was busy creating the world. But once humans started living on earth and God’s work was over, their importance decreased. Not only that, the elephants had developed very irritating habits. Sometimes they would crow like cocks. And sometimes, tired of flying in the sky, they would go and sit on the rooftops of houses. The houses would collapse. The whole world knew how heavy the elephants were, but these creatures had no idea about the trouble they were causing. It was time for God to take action. He invited the big beasts for a fantastic feast. The elephants stuffed themselves with so much food that once they had eaten their fill, they rolled over on their stomachs and went to sleep. That was the moment God had been looking for. He quietly cut off the elephants’ wings. He gave away two of their wings to the peacock, which is...

B irbal arrived late for a function and the emperor was displeased. "My child was crying and I had to placate him," explained the courtier. "Does it take so long to calm down a child?" asked the emperor. "It appears you know nothing about child rearing. Now you pretend to be a child and I shall act as your father and I will show you how you should have dealt with your child. Go on, ask me for whatever he asked of you." "I want a cow," said Birbal. Akbar ordered a cow to be brought to the palace. "I want its milk. I want its milk," said Birbal, imitating the voice of a small child. "Milk the cow and give to him," said Akbar to his servants. The cow was milked and the milk was offered to Birbal. He drank a little and then handed the bowl back to Akbar. "Now put the rest of it back into the cow, put it back, put in back, put it back..." wailed Birbal. The emperor was flabbergasted and quietly left the room....

T here was a large puddle by the side of a road. As a lady was walking on the sidewalk, a car drove through the puddle and she was drenched head to foot. Shaking with rage, she glared at the car as it drove away. Then she looked around at the other people looking at her, and worrying about what others could be thinking of her, she stuffed her anger down inside and walked on with an icy expression. She was very angry and upset the whole day. This little incident had spoilt her day (and if she is not careful she could spoil the day for others too). A little later, as another woman walked by on the same sidewalk, a truck drove through the puddle, and dirty water splashed all over her. Shocked, she looked down at her drenched clothing for several seconds before bursting into laughter. And as she walked on down the sidewalk, she remembered all those times as a child that she and her friends had played out in the rain, stomping puddles and laughing with delight. An hour later...

Once upon a time, a long, long while ago, the Sun, the Wind, and the Moon were three sisters, and their mother was a pale, lovely Star that shone, far away, in the dark evening sky. One day their uncle and aunt, who were no more or less than the Thunder and Lightning, asked the three sisters to have supper with them, and their mother said that they might go. She would wait for them, she said, and would not set until all three returned and told her about their pleasant visit. So the Sun in her dress of gold, the Wind in a trailing dress that rustled as she passed, and the Moon in a wonderful gown of silver started out for the party with the Thunder and Lightning. Oh, it was a supper to remember! The table was spread with a cloth of rainbow. There were ices like the snow on the mountain tops, and cakes as soft and white as clouds, and fruits from every quarter of the earth. The three sisters ate their fill, especially the Sun and the Wind, who were very greedy, and left not so mu...

O ne day Emperor Akbar asked Birbal what he would choose if he were given a choice between justice and a gold coin. “The gold coin,” said Birbal. Akbar was taken aback. “You would prefer a gold coin to justice?” he asked, incredulously. “Yes,” said Birbal. The other courtiers were amazed by Birbal’s display of idiocy. For years they had been trying to discredit Birbal in the emperor’s eyes but without success and now the man had gone and done it himself! They could not believe their good fortune. “I would have been dismayed if even the lowliest of my servants had said this,” continued the emperor. “But coming from you it’s. . . it’s shocking - and sad. I did not know you were so debased!” “One asks for what one does not have, Your Majesty!” said Birbal, quietly. “You have seen to it that in our country justice is available to everybody. So as justice is already available to me and as I’m always short of money I said I would choose the gold coin.” The emperor was so p...

P atricia Narayan is in most of our newspapers these days. Patricia is the winner of this year’s ‘FICCI Woman Entrepreneur of the Year’ award, who, from earning just fifty paisa in the early 80’s continued to fight to overcome all hurdles to establish a chain of restaurants and now she earns at least Rs two lakh a day. Hailing from a conservative Christian family from Nagercoil, her marriage to a Brahmin caused an uproar in her family. Soon, all went downhill for Patricia who suffered abuse at the hands of her drug and alcohol addicted husband. At 18, Patricia was left to fend for herself and her two children. In an interview she confides: “I reached the crossroads where I had to choose between living and dying. I chose to live.” Where many would have just given up she persevered. Her passion for cooking only fuelled her will to survive. She started out by selling pickles, jams and squashes. From then on, there was no looking back and she set up a kiosk at the Marina beach, sel...

T he Lion, the king of animals, one day called all his subjects to his court, a vast, smelly cave. The bear felt nauseated by the smell and held his nose. The lion was offended and gave him a blow that knocked him senseless. "Does my court smell that bad?" he asked the monkey. "Not at all, Your Highness," said the monkey, ingratiatingly. "I would say your court smells like a bouquet of flowers." The lion knew this was not possible and knocked him senseless too. The other animals, including a fox, began to sidle out of the cave but the lion caught the fox's tail and pulled him back. "Let us have your opinion," he said. "Does my court smell?" "I have a terrible cold, Your Highness," said the fox, forcing a sneeze. "I cannot smell a thing so I cannot tell you whether your court smells or not." The lion liked his clever reply and gave him an important post at his court.

N asrruddin earned his living selling eggs. Someone came to his shop one day and said, “Guess what I have in my hand.” “Give me a clue,” said Nasruddin. “I shall give you several: It has the shape of an egg, the size of an egg. It looks like an egg, tastes like an egg and smells like an egg. Inside it is yellow and white. It is liquid before it is cooked, becomes thick when heated. It was, moreover laid by a hen...” “Aha!I know!” said Nasruddin. “It is some kind of a cake!” MORAL The expert misses the obvious! The Chief Priest misses the Messiah!

A dog and a donkey were going to the market with their master. It was a very long walk across a mountainous path. At noon, the master ate the little food he had brought along, unloaded the donkey, and settled down under a tree for a nap. The donkey began to eat the grass growing there, but there was nothing for the dog to eat. “There are some loaves among the load you were carrying,” said the dog to the donkey. “Let’s take one and share it between ourselves.” “Wait till the master gets up!” said the donkey, tersely. “He’ll feed you then.” Just then a ravenous wolf came into view. “Help me, help me, dog!” pleaded the donkey, quavering in fear. “I’m so hungry I don’t have the strength to do anything,” replied the dog. “Wait till the master gets up. He’ll certainly help you.”

A fly was flying around a web but it seemed reluctant to land, so finally the resident spider poked its head out and invited it in. “No, thank you,” said the fly. “I was looking for other flies but I don’t see any. I only feel safe in a crowd.” The fly streaked away. Presently, it came across a large number of flies sitting on a large piece of paper. “Don’t land!” warned a bee flying past. “ It’s flypaper. All those flies are stuck to it!” “What nonsense,” retorted the fly. “They’re enjoying themselves! See they’re dancing!!” “They’re not dancing! They’re trying to free themselves!!” yelled the bee, but the fly wasn’t listening. It settled on the flypaper, and got stuck. Moral: ‘Safety in Numbers’ may be a good slogan, but it’s not always true.

T wo butterflies were in love. One day, they decided to play Hide n Seek. Male Butterfly – “Lets play a small game” Female Butterfly – “Ok” Male Butterfly – “The one who sits in this flower tomorrow early in the morning, that one loves the other one more. Female Butterfly – “Ok” Next morning, the male butterfly waited for the flower to open so that he can sit before the female butterfly in order to show that he loved her more than she loved him. It waited and waited and finally, the flower opened. The male butterfly cried at what he saw. His love had died inside the flower. She stayed there all night so that early in the morning as soon as she sees him she can fly to him and tell him how much she loved him, but now her death proved how much she loved him.

O nce upon a time in one corner of the world squatted a sullen, sulking, friendless darkness. Suddenly a tiny light appeared. It was very small but it was a light. Someone had put it there. It just stood there and sent out its rays. A passer-by remarked to the light: "Don't you think you would be of more use somewhere else and not in this God-forsaken corner?" "Not really," said the little light. "I shine because I am a light. And because I shine, I am a light. I don't shine in order to be seen, but so that others could seen in the dark." When the gloomy darkness heard this, it gritted its teeth and full of furry, tried to put out the light. But the gigantic darkness was powerless  against this tiny light that wanted to shine. An old saying goes: "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness."

A young student of Zen happened to break a precious vase belonging to his teacher. When he heard his teacher's footsteps, he quickly held the broken vase behind him. As the teacher walked up to him, he asked, "Why does one die, master?" "It's natural," said the teacher. "Everything has a beginning and an end. Everything has just so long to live and then has to die." The student held out the pieces of the broken vase and said, "The time for your vase to die had come.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and there was a mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee and other items in front of him. When the class began, he quietly picked up the very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and emptied them into the jar.   He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  The sand filled up the rest of the empty space. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'  The professor then took the two cups of coffee and poured the entire contents into the jar.  The students laughed. “Now,” said the professor,   as the laughter subsided, “I w...

O nce upon a time there lived a little old man and a little old woman. The little old man had a kind heart, and he kept a young sparrow, which he cared for tenderly. Every morning it used to sing at the door of his house. Now, the little old woman was a cross old thing, and one day when she was going to starch her linen, the sparrow pecked at her paste. Then she flew into a great rage and cut the sparrow's tongue and let the bird fly away. When the little old man came home from the hills, where he had been chopping wood, he found the sparrow gone. "Where is my little sparrow?" asked he. "It pecked at my starching-paste," answered the little old woman, "so I cut its evil tongue and let it fly away." "Alas! Alas!" cried the little old man. "Poor thing! Poor thing! Poor little tongue-cut sparrow! Where is your home now?" And then he wandered far and wide seeking his pet and crying, "Mr. Sparrow, Mr. Sparrow, where...

T wo women, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One woman was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. Her bed was next to the room's only window.  The other woman had to spend all her time flat on her back. The women talked for hours on end. They spoke of their husbands and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in  voluntary services, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the woman in the bed by the window could sit up, she would pass the time by describing to her room-mate all the things she could see outside the window. The woman in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where her world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowe...